POSTAL 2

R. Kelly's Protege

Common52.8%

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Friend of Dorothy

Common49.2%

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Common45.1%

Kicked open a door.

Duck Dynasty

Common41.8%

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Common38.9%

Survived Monday.

Here, Wilfred

Common37.9%

Gained your first dog helper.

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Common37.2%

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Officer McLovin'

Common33.3%

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Common30.4%

Put out someone that's on fire.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Uncommon28.9%

Sucked down your own piss.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Uncommon26.5%

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Uncommon26.2%

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

C U Next Tuesday

Uncommon23.2%

Survived Tuesday.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Uncommon22.3%

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Uncommon21.4%

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Fur Sure!

Uncommon20.6%

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Uncommon19.1%

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Uncommon18.1%

Survived Wednesday.

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Uncommon16.8%

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Rare14.8%

Roasted 30 people with fire.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Rare14.3%

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Rare13.9%

Survived Thursday.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Rare13.4%

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Rare12.6%

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Rare12.5%

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Door Mat

Rare11.8%

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Workin' for the Weekend

Rare11.6%

Survived Friday.

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Rare11.5%

Killed over 1,000 people.

Can't Touch This

Rare11.3%

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Rare10.0%

Wore all three outfits.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Rare9.9%

Survived Saturday.

Paid the Piper

Rare9.8%

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Darth Maul'd!

Rare9.3%

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Chuck Norris'd!

Rare8.4%

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Running With Scissors

Rare7.2%

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Rare7.1%

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Shiva Blast

Rare6.8%

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

A-Rod Who?

Rare6.8%

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Rare6.8%

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Thanks for the money!

Rare6.7%

Finished all seven days.

Reddit would be proud.

Rare6.7%

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Rare6.6%

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Rare6.6%

Totaled 30 cars.

I Am Legend

Rare6.5%

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Rare6.2%

Read the newspaper every day.

Chapelle's Show

Rare6.0%

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Rare5.8%

Reunited with an old friend.

Señor Cornballer

Rare5.7%

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

RAFIBOMB!!!

Rare5.0%

Kicked 30 people in the balls.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Legendary4.7%

Reunited with an old enemy.

Cesar Millan is Gay

Legendary4.6%

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

One time, at band camp...

Legendary4.4%

Saved the marching band from explody death.

I don't need virgins for this

Legendary4.4%

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Legendary4.1%

Reunited with an old flame.

Don't taze me, bro!

Legendary3.9%

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Uncle T-Bag

Legendary3.8%

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Legendary3.7%

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Legendary3.7%

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Hello, Newman

Legendary3.4%

Kicked 30 dogs.

Fear and Loathing

Legendary3.3%

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

BioShocked

Legendary3.1%

Spent $5,000 on vending machines.

Reddit's Famous Double Dong

Legendary3.1%

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Legendary3.0%

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Better than POSTAL III

Legendary2.9%

Rescued your loyal companion.

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Legendary2.6%

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Anustart!

Legendary2.6%

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Legendary2.5%

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Legendary2.4%

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Legendary2.3%

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Rich on Reddit

Legendary2.2%

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Legendary2.1%

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Adderall4All

Legendary1.9%

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

My Name is Jesus

Legendary1.9%

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Legendary1.9%

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.