Genital Jousting
achievement guide & roadmap
Most Improved Tapulator
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
0.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Go Left
Move to the left.
3.5%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Go Right
Move to the right.
3.4%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Meet Your Maker
0.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Summer Job
0.4%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Fire Inspector
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
2.6%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Early Bird
Swallow every worm.
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Sleep No More
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Self Defence
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
1.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Swan Tamer
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
0.9%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Bulking Gear
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
0.2%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Paperwork
Submit your monthly physical report.
0.2%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Popcorn Buffet
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
0.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Appalling Appetite
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Clumsy
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
0.5%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
A Better John
1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Master Unlocker
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
0.5%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Couch Party
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Always Finishes First
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
0.6%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Generous Lover
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
2.7%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Spare Wheel
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
0.4%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
The Perfect Partner
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
0.4%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
My Precious
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
0.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Magnetic Basshole
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Safety First
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
0.3%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Till Death Do Us
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
0.7%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Autopaedicatio
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
0.5%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet
Fussy Lover
Save yourself for that special orgy.
0.1%
No guide has been input for this achievement yet