No missable achievements (plus 28 unknown)
Sign in with Steam or Xbox to track your progress, and:
Move to the left.
Move to the right.
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Submit your monthly physical report.
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Swallow every worm.
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.