NotCoD™ achievement guide & roadmap



No missable achievements (plus 73 unknown)

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Deliver the sweet release of death to ten totally justifiable targets.

Not A Moron

Prove you're actually alive by successfully starting the game.

Slayer Of Sponge

Destroy a totally innocent cake.

To War!

Complete Basic Training.


Deliver the sweet release of death to one hundred somewhat justifiable targets.

PC Master Race

Complete any mission in Call of Judy with keyboard and mouse.

Down And Dirty

Complete Mission 1.

Get Mounted

Complete your first mounted gun section.


Blow up.

Do You Know Who I Am?

Listen to an entire Kenneth Announcement.


Sponge. That. Sinner!

Live Dangerously

Ride the Ferris Wheel.

A Jolly Jaunt

Complete Mission 2.


Kill at least 3 enemies with one grenade or rocket explosion.

Who You Gonna Call?

Complete Mission 3.

Clowning Around

Complete Mission 4.

Ashes To Ashes

Complete Mission 5.


Deliver the sweet release of death to one thousand definitely unjustifiable targets.

Sorry, No Refunds

God Is On Your Side...

Complete Mission 6.

...Just Kidding! He’s Not

Complete Mission 7.

The Church's Dirty Little Secret

Useless Information...

Find your first piece of Intel.

Inner Demons

Complete Mission 8.

Piece Of Pie

Discover the "legitimate" sources of the Bum.

Nothing To Hide

Investigate the Surveillance system.

What Is Dead May Never Die

Told You So

Patience Of A Saint

Satisfy your OCD in the Filing room.

Hole Puncher

Complete every mounted gun section to become the ultimate Stationary Killer.

Pure-Bred Console Player

Complete any mission in Call of Judy with a controller.


Complete Call of Judy, Gamer difficulty.



Murder the Magnate

Complete Mission 9.

To Be Continued...

Complete Call of Judy.

We’ve Been Here Before…

Play every different level in Call of Judy, then start any one level again.

Tomb Raider


Listen to every tannoy announcement at the Fete.

He Shoots, He Scores!

Improve your K:D by killing three enemies with 1 bullet.

Oh Boy, A Friend!

Play split-screen.

A Single Kenneth Suddenly Silenced

Destroy every tannoy in the evening-time at the Fete.

Thus Spake Kenneth

Listen to every tannoy announcement in the evening-time at the Fete.

Duck, Duck, Mousse

Run over all the innocents on the Ghost Train.

Ice Cold

Destroy every ice cream van.

The Gospel According To Murdoch

Listen to all tannoy announcements in the Musoleum.

I Need No Announcement

Destroy every tannoy at the Fete.

The People's Republic Of NotGames

Complete any Mission in Call of Judy while censorship is in effect.

Trench Foot

Complete Mission 1, Badass difficulty.

Master Of My Own Fete

Complete Mission 2, Badass difficulty.

There But For The Grace Of God…

Sunday Schooling

Kill 666 Nuns on the Sabbath.

If You Want Something Done Right…

Silence Is Golden

Destroy all the tannoys in Musoleum.

Joseph's Favourite Son

Feelin' Lucky, Punk?

Open Wide

A Ghost Of A Chance

Complete Mission 3, Badass difficulty.

...Or Surprising Insights?

Find every piece of Intel in Call of Judy.

A Grave Mistake

Complete Mission 5, Badass difficulty.

Heil Mary, Full Of Grace

Complete Mission 6, Badass difficulty.

Gazzer's Revenge

You're Locked In Here With Me!

Complete Mission 7, Badass difficulty.

Crashing The Castle

Complete Mission 4, Badass difficulty.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Complete Mission 8, Badass difficulty.

Doing What's Necessary

Put Denis Down.

Or Was It Judith?

Complete Call of Judy, Badass difficulty.

Offshore Account


Complete Mission 9, Badass difficulty.

Collateral Damage

These Aren't Just Zombies...These Are NotZombies

Well I’ll Be Damned

Future Shock One